10,000 BC, from @paleoindian
Walked 4 daze, no people only bears who think they run the place. Fyi: snow tastes like snow even when covered in deer sauce and warm dirt.
1,000 BC, from @beothuk
I am an old warrior. i have seen many great things, and many terrible things in this new found land. i am old and i will leave world soon.
But 1 piece of wisdom i impart to those wishing to know what i have known on this rugged island: bring a coat. even in july. trust me.
500 BC, from @paleoinuit
it is cold here most of the time but our shaman sez it that there will be a great & tragic warming of the climate in about 2000 years.
Like that does us any good now.
200 BC, from @iroquoiscnfdrcy
Don't get me wrong i love bison and i am grateful for their food and clothing but why can't Good With Quill draw anything else?
Each day he drags me to his cave -which 2B honest is starting to smell; he could do laundry every now and then -2 show me a another bison.
i like bison as much as the next Central Algonquin, but c'mon, give them a spear or a word bubble saying "Nyuk-Nyuk." Mix it up a little.
1492, from @ccolumbustours
Canada is fine, wild, in some places rocky, but in future, i suspect if u need bullets or liquor in middle of nite, u'll be out of luck.
Canada will have none of this.
It will have men marrying other men and strong marijuana, but for firearms or booze, you will have to go to buffalo.
That's what i think.
1534, from @jacquescartier
1st impressions of New France: mimes will flourish & Roger Waters will b worshipped as a god & the words 'ding et dong' just came to me, ???
1867, from @johnAmacdonald
Yay! the good guys won the election and then gordon brought by some fine spirits and so we got wasted fenian style.
But when I woke up this morning I found myself tied up w/ a pair of suspenders in an, ahem, odd fashion. ha ha ha 100% true
1923, from @fosterhewitt
i believe i coined a phrase at the game tonight that will be remembered when all of my days are done.
the phrase is "he put fritter in the fryer!" which is what i said right after macdonald got his third goal for the leafs.
I said: "he shoots! he scores! he put the fritter in the fryer!" it kind of just rolled off the tongue and felt, you know, so right.
You're welcome, canada.
1973, from @maggietrudeau42
bruno, mick keeps calling me on the phone. he says he is 'dolores' and talks in this high voice.
bruno, i think PET is starting to get suspicious. mick -or rather, dolores -talked to pierre yesterday and asked him 'what do you get when you cross an anaconda with a bicycle pump?'
PET stared at the phone b4 handing it back 2 me. down the line, i could heard mick and keith in the background going grrrnnkk and flpppfff.
bruno, i don't know what to do. i'm both attracted and repelled by them. is that OK?
1980, from @CoreyHartPR
Corey Hart wishes to announce to his fans & public in general that he will no longer be wearing his sunglasses at night.
His MD advised against this; a recent brush with a Thai food delivery coupe left him wary of this and other dubious ocular traditions.
1992, from @pamanderson69
OMG! i met this guy tommy lee and he's so smart and kool and suave and discreet -like most drummers!
he's gonna treat me like a princess and NEVER show anyone video of us humping on a boat. Totes unlike anything a drummer would EVER do.
Oh and he can drive a boat with his penis. 100% true so deal with that, Hasselhoff!
2011, from @robfordisthemayor1
being mayor is great, altho yesterday i walked 4 daze and saw nothing but bears who think they run the place
Let me tell you: snow tastes like snow even when covered in hot barbeque sauce and french fries.
Better to just order the chicken.
